As the party walks down a city street, they pass by a well-dressed elf who looks exhausted, dragging his feet on his way to the local tavern.
With a decent enough passing perception, players notice a “kick me” sign taped to his back. The party can follow the sign’s instructions (and make this poor elf’s day even worse) or politely point it out and have it removed.
“That’s the 3rd time this week,” the elf groans before neatly folding the paper into perfect creases and sliding it into a coat pocket. “Maybe I need to start wearing fewer layers so that I can feel when they tape it on.”
If the players press for more info, the elf will introduce himself as Rrísk Primrose. He is the overworked and mentally-exhausted principal at the Professional Finishing School for Fiends & Fey (or PFFF).
“Our school’s mission is to reform fey and fiends of their mischievous ways and better prepare them for sophisticated modern society. This term, our student body is entirely composed of pixies and quasits.” He says, straightening his tie. “It’s important but challenging work. Regretfully, we have a high turnover rate and always seem to be short of educators.”
He continues to appraise the party, frowning at whatever player characters are more sloppily dressed and smiling at those who, like him, demonstrate an air of propriety and poise.
“Would any of you have interest in helping us out for a day? I’ve already had some teachers let me know they won’t be in tomorrow, and we will likely be short on subs.”
If the party agrees, the principal will take out the “Kick Me” sign, unfold it, and use the reverse side to elegantly draw out a map and provide instructions on getting to the finishing school.
“I will expect you first thing tomorrow then,” he says with a relieved smile. “We will likely have a few open positions, so we can find a place that best fits your individual strengths.”
A Class Act
When the players arrive, they find a surprisingly beautiful building that sits almost castle-like against a charming backdrop of trees. The grounds are well-tended and the shrubs neatly trimmed. The exterior is intended to contrast the chaotic mess that the school interior may (likely) become during the encounter, so really play up the descriptions. At one end of the building appears to be the dormitory rooms, and players with good enough perception can notice collections of little eyes watching them as they approach the building.
Rrísk meets the party at the front door with their assignments for the day. As the DM, you can choose how you want to divide your group, but keeping players in pairs would likely be best. The principal can explain that every teacher has a teacher’s aide to help with maintaining classroom order.
You can choose 1 or more of the classes below, and they can happen simultaneously (if the party is divided) or sequentially like periods in a day (if the party stays together).
Regardless, most of the classes have the same setup:
- Teaching the Lesson (ability check and roleplaying)
- Classroom Management (at least one student will try to cause a problem)
This class focusses on helping pixies and quasits learn how to communicate with others. They already know Common from earlier classes. Today’s lesson plan (the players will find it sitting on the desk) is all about conducting mock job interviews.
Have players start by walking students through the steps of a good interview and proper manners (roll a performance check with advantage or disadvantage based on how well you, as DM, think the players did with their demonstration/verbal roleplaying instruction). Following the direct modeling, one of the players will need to conduct a mock interview with one of the students. The success will be based on the earlier performance check and the quality of feedback given by the player during the interview. If distracted, the quasit will start gnawing on the desk during the interview or answer the questions with silly, ridiculous responses to make the rest of the class laugh. You can reprimand the quasit through intimidation or persuasion checks (depending on what kind of teacher you want to be).
While the mock interview is going on, the player who is left supervising the class needs to roll for perception to spot one of the quasits literally lighting a small fire inside their desk. If they don’t perceive it early enough, then the smell of smoke and the sight of a growing flame will give it a way. This will send the quasits and pixies in an excited frenzy and require some fast-thinking from the players to extinguish the flame and restore order.
Social Dancing Class
Upon entering this class, the pixies and quasits will be dressed in little suits and dresses, all looking clearly uncomfortable and tugging/chewing on the fabric. The classroom itself is a rather large ballroom with dangling chandeliers overhead.
The two players assigned to this class must demonstrate proper dancing skills and roll for performance. Then, a sleeping satyr in the corner can be woken up to play the waltz/tango/whatever dance that the students have been instructed to learn.
During the dance, one of the quasits will lose track of his pixie dance partner (who turned invisible) and walk up to one of the players unsure of what to do. The invisible pixie flies up to the chandelier hanging above and begins to detach the chain. If this pixie is not discovered early enough by the party and stopped, a chandelier will come crashing down the floor, interrupting the dance and causing another chaotic episode that needs to be quelled.
Music/Art Appreciation Class
This class is intended to teach pixies and quasits to be cultured. They will all take out their recorders and begin blowing on them, making horrendous squeaking noises. The players will find the teacher’s recorder sitting on the teacher’s desk with some sheet music.
They need to first demonstrate (performance roll) on how to play to determine the success of the creatures’ eventual rehearsal. Any bards in the party can have advantage on this roll since the recorder, by design, is a very simplistic instrument.
During the rehearsal, one of the quasits will be messing with his recorder, unscrewing the end and making it into a spitball shooter.
He will fire spitballs and start an all-out spitball fight if not stopped/reprimanded.
Alternative: If you want to make it an art class instead of music, then one of the pixies can start a disruption by splashing paint onto a quasit’s canvas (maybe the quasit prefers black/dark colors while the pixie wants more bright/rainbow colors). You can also have one student offer up a very horrendous painting done of one of the players. The pixie who does this will be looking for positive reinforcement, so the player will need to succeed on a deception check when they tell them that the painting is really sweet and well done (unless they dish out brutal honesty and ruin the pixie’s artistic dreams but, I mean, come on…).
While the other lessons are going on, one or more players can be assigned as school hall monitors. At first, everything seems surprisingly quiet (unless, of course, things in the classes above get out of hand, in which case the hall monitors might overhear some muffled classroom commotion).
Suddenly, a pig with a number 2 painted on its side will come racing down the hallway, chased by the exhausted principal.
The player needs to roll a dexterity saving throw to either grab the pig or be knocked to the ground, prone.
This begins the classic “pig release” school prank. The players assigned as hall monitors need to search the school to find the “pigs” that are running around.
There are three in total, labeled “1”, “2”, and “4″. Once each pig is properly grappled, the creature will transform back into a quasit. The quasit can then be sent to the principal/dean’s office to be reprimanded (or you can have a heart-to-heart with the crew and try to help them see the error of their ways).
Depending on how well the players handle the different tasks above, they will receive an amount of gold from Principal Rrísk for their honest day’s work. If the party is really successful in all the classes, the principal will (probably unsuccessfully) offer them full-time jobs as well as give them an item that was confiscated from one of the students: The Whistle of Whimsy.
Three times a day, the user can blow the whistle with the intention of “warding” or “welcoming.” If the player uses “warding”, then any fey or fiends within 60 feet hear a grating and unsettling sound. If they hear this sound, they break concentration immediately and attempt to get out of its range. If the player uses “welcoming”, then any fey or fiends within 60 feet will hear the most wonderful music and seek out the source, again dropping concentration.